Episode I – Awe
Who am I?
I. When I was little and was asked, “Who are you?”
I answered.
“My name is XXX.”
Thus, I am XXX.
Who am I?
I. When I was little and was asked, “Who are you?”
I answered.
“My name is XXX.”
Thus, I am XXX.
One day, I had a toothache. The pain was so real, so deep and strong. It was my tooth that was aching! My tooth, this is my body, this body is me, I am this body.
Therefore,
What you are seeing right now is me. I am this body!
When I got older,
There was a saying that touched me: “I think therefore I am.”
So,
Since I have thoughts, I am thinking, therefore I am conscious of my existence.
Thus I am the thoughts, the thinking, the mind… etc.
II. When I was little I tried to do things well, to do things right, and not make any mistakes. I had to walk the Path of the Truth. I tried hard to “search for the Truth”.
But what is the Truth? What does it look like?
The Truth should be:
Always right. It is never wrong, without any exceptions.
It should be universal, and never change, even through the test of time!
During the tens of years that I had been trying, did I find anything like it?
When I was little, I thought that mom and dad were always right, but…?
When I got to school, I thought the teachers were always right, but…?
After being educated, I thought the things that had been proven through scientific experiments were always right, yet there were always adjustments and exceptions.
One day I thought about the existence of the sun and the moon. They cycled day after day and night after night; I experienced them every single day. They didn’t change, thus they should be the Truth! But the scientists said that many eons ago and at some point in the future, this phenomenon would not exist.
So where is the Truth?
What is always there? What never ever changes?
Are we to believe “there is no Truth” is the ultimate Truth?
III. When I joined a Spiritual Practice group (The Ishayas’ of the Bright Path Ascension), we played a couple of games:
The first game: Relax comfortably and close your eyes for about two minutes, and watch your thoughts (thoughts include the existence of an idea, a sound, a story, an emotion… etc.) When you become aware of a thought, give it a number.
For example:
“It’s so tiring today!” Oh, it’s a thought. Give it a number (thought No. 1).
“Someone I want to see will show up later…” That’s a thought. Give it a number 2.
“… Oh, the sound of the air-conditioner.” That’s a thought number 3.
“I have to be more alert to watching my thoughts. It is better and more advanced if there aren’t anything thoughts…?” Give it a number 4.
“A sense of sadness. I thought of a disastrous scene that I saw on the news on TV yesterday. It shook me…” A thought. Give it a number 5.
…
How many thoughts did you count during this period of time?
The second game: Relax comfortably and close your eyes for about two minutes, and then see where the thoughts in your awareness come from.
Where do they go?
· Please do spend a few minutes and actually play with the two games mentioned above.
From the first game:
“I see a thought, and then give it a number, and then watch.”
Suddenly, I find an issue:
I have a thought and I give it a number, in the midst of this, there are two “I”s existing simultaneously.
- The “I” that is having the thought and the “I” that is counting.
But there is supposed to be just one me! Which one is the real me? I suppose it is the one that gives the numbers out!
Why?
“Because the thoughts seem to be distant from me, thus I was able to give them a number. I feel closer to the “me” that is giving out numbers.”
Suddenly, I discover:
“The thoughts are not me.”
“Thoughts are distant from me.”
Then what am “I”?
The giving of the numbers should also be a thought, shouldn’t it?!
One question:
“When you close your eyes and watch your thoughts; before the thoughts appear, what do you see?”
1. Nothing!
2. Black, dark and empty…
3. I don’t know how to describe it!
4. Feels quiet.
…
Then the first thought comes up “what am I doing…?”
Hmm… Where does this thought comes from?
As it turns out:
“Thoughts come from the black, dark, empty place.”
And then the second thought comes up “I am actually watching my thoughts.”
At this moment, where does the first thought go?
It vanishes:
“It disappears into the black, dark, empty place!”
I’ve noticed:
All the coming and going of thoughts, is from and to this black, dark, empty place!
I’ve noticed: This Space.
This black, dark, empty Space.
It doesn’t have any boundaries, it is everywhere, it is all-existing, it never disappears, and it cannot disappear. It will never be changed and will never move.
It is always there, but has been ignored by me; because it never “changes”. Yet since I was born, I’ve only been paying attention to those things that change, ignoring the huge Unchanging. Just like watching the clouds which cover the infinite sky, yet forgetting about the existence of the sky itself.
Actually: This Space
Is the Source of all that happens. It is the true, eternal Existence. The true, infinite Existence. And I kept ignoring it.
Actually: This Space
Is just the simple “watching” or “awareness”.
I discovered that thoughts are maintained in this Space; sometimes for a short time, sometimes longer, sometimes they become a continuous soap opera. A movie created from thoughts. The same thing happens when my eyes are open. I see the table, the chair, the house, the trees, the people, life… The time these objects stay in my awareness changes. Sometimes they stay for a long time, sometimes shorter.
Actually: Those illusive thoughts, and those objects that I consider to be real are in some ways very similar => they all disappear eventually. They come and go. The only difference is the length of time they stay.
Actually: This Space
Exists no matter with eyes opened or closed.
Exists regardless of the movements of the thoughts or emotions, regardless of the outer movements.
Actually:
The Truth that I have been searching for all my life is here. It is always here. It never changes, I was just ignoring it.
Actually:
In the past I always wanted a real vacation. I wanted to relax and rest, to go for a trip, to go to the mountains, to the beach, to be in touch with nature; Yet what I really wanted was the sense of Silence, Peace and relaxation. Which I discovered comes from within me. As long as I am willing, I can experience it anytime. Far greater Silence and Peace than being at the beach or in the mountains. When I put my attention on this “void”, this “emptiness”, this “nothingness”, it presents itself in such Silence, Calmness, Relaxation, unbounded Joy, and endless Peace…
Stay there.
Just put your attention there.
Just gently put your attention there.
Then you’ll be able to experience that endless silence, joy and peace.
Actually:
That “emptiness”, that “nothingness”, that “void”, that “everywhere”, that “awareness”, that “unchanging”, that… is the “real me”. It is the “True Self”.
Episode 2 – Let Go
Q: I have known and experienced this space, but how do I maintain it all the time?
A: It is always there, you have always had it, you have just been ignoring it. You just need to simply, gently put your attention there, then you’ll be able to experience everything.
Q: I got it, but I still have a lot of thoughts, a lot of issues, a lot of emotions, a lot of distractions, which kept me away from this Space again and again, what shall I do?
A: Even if you have many thoughts, lots of issues, you have never left the Space. “Leaving” is merely a concept! Of course, because of our life-long habits, we are used to putting our attention on the part that is moving (the thoughts that come and go), and we ignore the part that never changes and never moves (unless we try to find it intentionally). The changing of the habit isn’t easy, so to start with, you need to find some methods or tools.
Q: What are the methods or tools?
A: Almost every spiritual practice has the methods or the tools of its tradition. As long as the goal is to bring you back to the Source, back to the place of joy and peace, then I consider it a good tool. It’s just that there are many teachings that had been misinterpreted throughout the time, and the original purpose is lost.
Some very common tools such as:
The mantras in Buddhism “Namo Amita Buddha”, “Namo Lokeshvaraya”…
Tibetan Buddhism using “Chanting”, “Maha Mudra”.
Transcendental Meditation using “Mantras”.
Christianity using “prayers”.
Ascension using “Ascension Attitudes” … etc.
These are all great tools.
Q: What’s the purpose of these tools?
A: All the tools basically come in the form of a thought. The reason we choose for them, is because to the mind, they represent a thought that is the highest universal force for all good; it is a very powerful thought for the users, and it can effectively replace the scatter thoughts we have during the day.
Q: How do I apply those tools?
A: Just like the game of watching the mind that we played earlier. When you notice a thought, you start to have a “choice”. One is to let your thought continue, another is to choose a tool that you are familiar with to replace all the thoughts. The mind can only do one thing at a time. When you introduce this one special tool, you’ll be able to replace all the former thoughts. Then you can let go of this new thought, back to the emptiness, and put your attention on that emptiness.
All the spiritual practices (teachings that leads people to a tangible experience peace) have the same theory. You will know very clear that when you become aware of the existence of the thoughts. You will be faced with a choice; you can choose to use your tools to go back to the Silence, or let the thoughts and emotions take you away.
The use of these tools can be broken down into three steps:
1. Watch the thoughts.
2. Use the tool to replace the thoughts.
3. Let Go.
Q: Are there other effects of these tools?
A: There might be other effect depending on the difference of the teachings; but the most important thing is to bring to back to the “Now”, back to the “True Self”.
Q: To advance further, what shall we do?
A: We know that our hears’ highest desire is to stay in that silent, relaxed, free, and joyful space, and what we want to do is to increase the time that we spend there. Because of our life-long habit, we keep grabbing onto the movements of the thoughts in our mind, and ignore the existence of this Space. Today, besides remembering it, we need to work on how to maintain and nourish it. The easiest way is to build a new habit.
This habit is:
Become aware -> Using a tool to replace -> Let Go -> Stay there -> The end.
In order to build this habit, it is not only important to practice with eyes-closed, but eyes-opened has its method and importance also.
Q: What kind of experience would I have during the practice?
A:
1. A lot of thoughts, flow of emotions.
2. Tired. Sleepy. Maybe even falling asleep.
3. True relaxation, joy and peace.
4. Surreal experiences: like seeing the revelations of the celestials or Buddha, predictions of the future disasters… etc.
Whatever happens is all natural. Whatever happens is OK. It happens due to the need of that particular moment. When you become aware, you will discover that, those experiences are all just thoughts. And all you can do is “Let them go”.
Q: What do I have to do to have a continuous experience of the Silence?
A: In the beginning you need to practice for a period of time, allow yourself to have a 20-30 minute period, 2-3 times a day of eyes-closed practice (sit yourself comfortably. Postures are not important, as long as you are relaxed and alert. Gently close your eyes, and watch the mind move. When you become aware of the thoughts, use your tools to replace them and then let it go. Then keep watching).
The rest of the day you can practice with your eyes-opened using the same tools.
Continue to be reminded of your practice; the method is the same regardless of eyes opened or closed.
Become aware -> use your tools -> let go.
The most important thing is to “let go”. When you become familiar with this process, you might discover that the moment you become aware, you’ve already let go. It will get easier to choose to stay in that Space. You’ll discover, all the perfect experiences happen after you “let go”. Simply “letting go” is everything.
Episode 3 – Freedom
Why is it that I feel like I’ve already managed to not grab onto anything. I have let go of all the thoughts that I’ve observed, but I still don’t feel the true freedom (the experience of freedom)?
I feel that something special is missing in my experience. This special experience could be:
1. A Peak Experience: I am envious of the people who have had the experience of going beyond the mind and body, of time and space, and exalted bliss. Surely if I had those experiences, I would be able to experience union with creation and being truly free? But what about when this experience passes? Everything returns to where it starts - there are still the movements of the thoughts, struggles of the emotions, even adding up a desire to want to experience the Peak Experience again. It still feels not enough, still feels lacking. True freedom is supposed to be there in every moment! Therefore I didn’t experience true freedom, not just the lack of a Peak Experiences. A Peak Experience cannot bring about true freedom.
2. In the Ascendant, I can feel truly relaxed, silent and peaceful. Staying in this space continuously brings the feeling of true freedom to me. But in order to stay in this space, I have to go through “choosing”; to focus on that space. If I continue to work on that for a while, and being able to maintain staying in the Ascendant as a “habit”, and it would take a great deal of force for me to “choose” to leave it, then would I be able to experience true freedom when I get to this level of the experience? So often times we’ve been taught “to put the greatest amount of the attention on the ‘Silence’”. This should be the key condition to experience freedom!
But my Teacher said, “Freedom only occurs right now.” Yet I am still putting my freedom in the future! This will never lead to freedom!
3. I can’t really point my finger at it. Freedom should have a very different experience. It might not be able to be described with words, but it is something we can experience.
Zen Master said, “Searching for Freedom, is like “Bin-Ding” (the fire child) searching for the fire.”
Buddha said, “All creations are already its Buddha Nature.”
My Teacher said, “You are already free. What are you searching for?”
I still don’t get it???
The Teacher asked, “What do you think Freedom should look like?”
Well, at least:
1. Looking dignified. Acting relaxed. Compassionate and giving…
2. Continuous 24/7 awareness in the Ascendant (Zen Still) experience. Always staying in the Ascendant.
3. Never worried. Always free…
The Teacher said, “That is just a thought. That is just personal concepts about what freedom is. Let me repeat again, “You are already free”. It’s just your mind giving you a you-are-not-there-yet state to fool you that “You are not free yet”. And you allow yourself to be fooled!”
What? What did you say? I am already free?
I am free even if I have a lot of thoughts?
I am free even with lots of emotions?
I am free even though I am experiencing happiness, anger, sadness and joy?
So it turns out:
Being within the unmovable Ascendant, the changing of the thoughts, emotions and physical states cannot effect “The True Self”. Even if I were full of sickness in my body, begging on the side of the street, the joy and peace within myself would never be changed.
Actually:
I don’t have to change anything. I don’t have to “try to avoid all that’s evil and try to apply all that’s good”, I don’t have to have a “deep Zen Still experience”. I don’t have to have “strong compassion and deep wisdom”. I am already full and complete in the first place. Regardless of before, after or in the midst of my spiritual journey, I am already free in the first place. And everyone is the same.
Actually:
I am already free. The only thing that could keep me from experiencing it is just a little thought in my mind; a concept that the mind has about freedom! And all you need to do is to gently “let it go”.
Actually:
The experience of Freedom is the termination of all the concepts about what Freedom should be. It is the end of the search for the concept of “freedom”, thus all search for freedom is over.
I know that there can’t be any experience greater than that. There can’t be any moment that is freer than now.
I know I can’t say anything wrong or do anything wrong.
Everybody is as it is, no one makes any mistakes.
In every present moment, the whole world is presented in its full perfection.
Is it the end?
No! There is more, there are more interesting experiences that are waiting for you!
Therefore,
What you are seeing right now is me. I am this body!
When I got older,
There was a saying that touched me: “I think therefore I am.”
So,
Since I have thoughts, I am thinking, therefore I am conscious of my existence.
Thus I am the thoughts, the thinking, the mind… etc.
II. When I was little I tried to do things well, to do things right, and not make any mistakes. I had to walk the Path of the Truth. I tried hard to “search for the Truth”.
But what is the Truth? What does it look like?
The Truth should be:
Always right. It is never wrong, without any exceptions.
It should be universal, and never change, even through the test of time!
During the tens of years that I had been trying, did I find anything like it?
When I was little, I thought that mom and dad were always right, but…?
When I got to school, I thought the teachers were always right, but…?
After being educated, I thought the things that had been proven through scientific experiments were always right, yet there were always adjustments and exceptions.
One day I thought about the existence of the sun and the moon. They cycled day after day and night after night; I experienced them every single day. They didn’t change, thus they should be the Truth! But the scientists said that many eons ago and at some point in the future, this phenomenon would not exist.
So where is the Truth?
What is always there? What never ever changes?
Are we to believe “there is no Truth” is the ultimate Truth?
III. When I joined a Spiritual Practice group (The Ishayas’ of the Bright Path Ascension), we played a couple of games:
The first game: Relax comfortably and close your eyes for about two minutes, and watch your thoughts (thoughts include the existence of an idea, a sound, a story, an emotion… etc.) When you become aware of a thought, give it a number.
For example:
“It’s so tiring today!” Oh, it’s a thought. Give it a number (thought No. 1).
“Someone I want to see will show up later…” That’s a thought. Give it a number 2.
“… Oh, the sound of the air-conditioner.” That’s a thought number 3.
“I have to be more alert to watching my thoughts. It is better and more advanced if there aren’t anything thoughts…?” Give it a number 4.
“A sense of sadness. I thought of a disastrous scene that I saw on the news on TV yesterday. It shook me…” A thought. Give it a number 5.
…
How many thoughts did you count during this period of time?
The second game: Relax comfortably and close your eyes for about two minutes, and then see where the thoughts in your awareness come from.
Where do they go?
· Please do spend a few minutes and actually play with the two games mentioned above.
From the first game:
“I see a thought, and then give it a number, and then watch.”
Suddenly, I find an issue:
I have a thought and I give it a number, in the midst of this, there are two “I”s existing simultaneously.
- The “I” that is having the thought and the “I” that is counting.
But there is supposed to be just one me! Which one is the real me? I suppose it is the one that gives the numbers out!
Why?
“Because the thoughts seem to be distant from me, thus I was able to give them a number. I feel closer to the “me” that is giving out numbers.”
Suddenly, I discover:
“The thoughts are not me.”
“Thoughts are distant from me.”
Then what am “I”?
The giving of the numbers should also be a thought, shouldn’t it?!
One question:
“When you close your eyes and watch your thoughts; before the thoughts appear, what do you see?”
1. Nothing!
2. Black, dark and empty…
3. I don’t know how to describe it!
4. Feels quiet.
…
Then the first thought comes up “what am I doing…?”
Hmm… Where does this thought comes from?
As it turns out:
“Thoughts come from the black, dark, empty place.”
And then the second thought comes up “I am actually watching my thoughts.”
At this moment, where does the first thought go?
It vanishes:
“It disappears into the black, dark, empty place!”
I’ve noticed:
All the coming and going of thoughts, is from and to this black, dark, empty place!
I’ve noticed: This Space.
This black, dark, empty Space.
It doesn’t have any boundaries, it is everywhere, it is all-existing, it never disappears, and it cannot disappear. It will never be changed and will never move.
It is always there, but has been ignored by me; because it never “changes”. Yet since I was born, I’ve only been paying attention to those things that change, ignoring the huge Unchanging. Just like watching the clouds which cover the infinite sky, yet forgetting about the existence of the sky itself.
Actually: This Space
Is the Source of all that happens. It is the true, eternal Existence. The true, infinite Existence. And I kept ignoring it.
Actually: This Space
Is just the simple “watching” or “awareness”.
I discovered that thoughts are maintained in this Space; sometimes for a short time, sometimes longer, sometimes they become a continuous soap opera. A movie created from thoughts. The same thing happens when my eyes are open. I see the table, the chair, the house, the trees, the people, life… The time these objects stay in my awareness changes. Sometimes they stay for a long time, sometimes shorter.
Actually: Those illusive thoughts, and those objects that I consider to be real are in some ways very similar => they all disappear eventually. They come and go. The only difference is the length of time they stay.
Actually: This Space
Exists no matter with eyes opened or closed.
Exists regardless of the movements of the thoughts or emotions, regardless of the outer movements.
Actually:
The Truth that I have been searching for all my life is here. It is always here. It never changes, I was just ignoring it.
Actually:
In the past I always wanted a real vacation. I wanted to relax and rest, to go for a trip, to go to the mountains, to the beach, to be in touch with nature; Yet what I really wanted was the sense of Silence, Peace and relaxation. Which I discovered comes from within me. As long as I am willing, I can experience it anytime. Far greater Silence and Peace than being at the beach or in the mountains. When I put my attention on this “void”, this “emptiness”, this “nothingness”, it presents itself in such Silence, Calmness, Relaxation, unbounded Joy, and endless Peace…
Stay there.
Just put your attention there.
Just gently put your attention there.
Then you’ll be able to experience that endless silence, joy and peace.
Actually:
That “emptiness”, that “nothingness”, that “void”, that “everywhere”, that “awareness”, that “unchanging”, that… is the “real me”. It is the “True Self”.
Episode 2 – Let Go
Q: I have known and experienced this space, but how do I maintain it all the time?
A: It is always there, you have always had it, you have just been ignoring it. You just need to simply, gently put your attention there, then you’ll be able to experience everything.
Q: I got it, but I still have a lot of thoughts, a lot of issues, a lot of emotions, a lot of distractions, which kept me away from this Space again and again, what shall I do?
A: Even if you have many thoughts, lots of issues, you have never left the Space. “Leaving” is merely a concept! Of course, because of our life-long habits, we are used to putting our attention on the part that is moving (the thoughts that come and go), and we ignore the part that never changes and never moves (unless we try to find it intentionally). The changing of the habit isn’t easy, so to start with, you need to find some methods or tools.
Q: What are the methods or tools?
A: Almost every spiritual practice has the methods or the tools of its tradition. As long as the goal is to bring you back to the Source, back to the place of joy and peace, then I consider it a good tool. It’s just that there are many teachings that had been misinterpreted throughout the time, and the original purpose is lost.
Some very common tools such as:
The mantras in Buddhism “Namo Amita Buddha”, “Namo Lokeshvaraya”…
Tibetan Buddhism using “Chanting”, “Maha Mudra”.
Transcendental Meditation using “Mantras”.
Christianity using “prayers”.
Ascension using “Ascension Attitudes” … etc.
These are all great tools.
Q: What’s the purpose of these tools?
A: All the tools basically come in the form of a thought. The reason we choose for them, is because to the mind, they represent a thought that is the highest universal force for all good; it is a very powerful thought for the users, and it can effectively replace the scatter thoughts we have during the day.
Q: How do I apply those tools?
A: Just like the game of watching the mind that we played earlier. When you notice a thought, you start to have a “choice”. One is to let your thought continue, another is to choose a tool that you are familiar with to replace all the thoughts. The mind can only do one thing at a time. When you introduce this one special tool, you’ll be able to replace all the former thoughts. Then you can let go of this new thought, back to the emptiness, and put your attention on that emptiness.
All the spiritual practices (teachings that leads people to a tangible experience peace) have the same theory. You will know very clear that when you become aware of the existence of the thoughts. You will be faced with a choice; you can choose to use your tools to go back to the Silence, or let the thoughts and emotions take you away.
The use of these tools can be broken down into three steps:
1. Watch the thoughts.
2. Use the tool to replace the thoughts.
3. Let Go.
Q: Are there other effects of these tools?
A: There might be other effect depending on the difference of the teachings; but the most important thing is to bring to back to the “Now”, back to the “True Self”.
Q: To advance further, what shall we do?
A: We know that our hears’ highest desire is to stay in that silent, relaxed, free, and joyful space, and what we want to do is to increase the time that we spend there. Because of our life-long habit, we keep grabbing onto the movements of the thoughts in our mind, and ignore the existence of this Space. Today, besides remembering it, we need to work on how to maintain and nourish it. The easiest way is to build a new habit.
This habit is:
Become aware -> Using a tool to replace -> Let Go -> Stay there -> The end.
In order to build this habit, it is not only important to practice with eyes-closed, but eyes-opened has its method and importance also.
Q: What kind of experience would I have during the practice?
A:
1. A lot of thoughts, flow of emotions.
2. Tired. Sleepy. Maybe even falling asleep.
3. True relaxation, joy and peace.
4. Surreal experiences: like seeing the revelations of the celestials or Buddha, predictions of the future disasters… etc.
Whatever happens is all natural. Whatever happens is OK. It happens due to the need of that particular moment. When you become aware, you will discover that, those experiences are all just thoughts. And all you can do is “Let them go”.
Q: What do I have to do to have a continuous experience of the Silence?
A: In the beginning you need to practice for a period of time, allow yourself to have a 20-30 minute period, 2-3 times a day of eyes-closed practice (sit yourself comfortably. Postures are not important, as long as you are relaxed and alert. Gently close your eyes, and watch the mind move. When you become aware of the thoughts, use your tools to replace them and then let it go. Then keep watching).
The rest of the day you can practice with your eyes-opened using the same tools.
Continue to be reminded of your practice; the method is the same regardless of eyes opened or closed.
Become aware -> use your tools -> let go.
The most important thing is to “let go”. When you become familiar with this process, you might discover that the moment you become aware, you’ve already let go. It will get easier to choose to stay in that Space. You’ll discover, all the perfect experiences happen after you “let go”. Simply “letting go” is everything.
Episode 3 – Freedom
Why is it that I feel like I’ve already managed to not grab onto anything. I have let go of all the thoughts that I’ve observed, but I still don’t feel the true freedom (the experience of freedom)?
I feel that something special is missing in my experience. This special experience could be:
1. A Peak Experience: I am envious of the people who have had the experience of going beyond the mind and body, of time and space, and exalted bliss. Surely if I had those experiences, I would be able to experience union with creation and being truly free? But what about when this experience passes? Everything returns to where it starts - there are still the movements of the thoughts, struggles of the emotions, even adding up a desire to want to experience the Peak Experience again. It still feels not enough, still feels lacking. True freedom is supposed to be there in every moment! Therefore I didn’t experience true freedom, not just the lack of a Peak Experiences. A Peak Experience cannot bring about true freedom.
2. In the Ascendant, I can feel truly relaxed, silent and peaceful. Staying in this space continuously brings the feeling of true freedom to me. But in order to stay in this space, I have to go through “choosing”; to focus on that space. If I continue to work on that for a while, and being able to maintain staying in the Ascendant as a “habit”, and it would take a great deal of force for me to “choose” to leave it, then would I be able to experience true freedom when I get to this level of the experience? So often times we’ve been taught “to put the greatest amount of the attention on the ‘Silence’”. This should be the key condition to experience freedom!
But my Teacher said, “Freedom only occurs right now.” Yet I am still putting my freedom in the future! This will never lead to freedom!
3. I can’t really point my finger at it. Freedom should have a very different experience. It might not be able to be described with words, but it is something we can experience.
Zen Master said, “Searching for Freedom, is like “Bin-Ding” (the fire child) searching for the fire.”
Buddha said, “All creations are already its Buddha Nature.”
My Teacher said, “You are already free. What are you searching for?”
I still don’t get it???
The Teacher asked, “What do you think Freedom should look like?”
Well, at least:
1. Looking dignified. Acting relaxed. Compassionate and giving…
2. Continuous 24/7 awareness in the Ascendant (Zen Still) experience. Always staying in the Ascendant.
3. Never worried. Always free…
The Teacher said, “That is just a thought. That is just personal concepts about what freedom is. Let me repeat again, “You are already free”. It’s just your mind giving you a you-are-not-there-yet state to fool you that “You are not free yet”. And you allow yourself to be fooled!”
What? What did you say? I am already free?
I am free even if I have a lot of thoughts?
I am free even with lots of emotions?
I am free even though I am experiencing happiness, anger, sadness and joy?
So it turns out:
Being within the unmovable Ascendant, the changing of the thoughts, emotions and physical states cannot effect “The True Self”. Even if I were full of sickness in my body, begging on the side of the street, the joy and peace within myself would never be changed.
Actually:
I don’t have to change anything. I don’t have to “try to avoid all that’s evil and try to apply all that’s good”, I don’t have to have a “deep Zen Still experience”. I don’t have to have “strong compassion and deep wisdom”. I am already full and complete in the first place. Regardless of before, after or in the midst of my spiritual journey, I am already free in the first place. And everyone is the same.
Actually:
I am already free. The only thing that could keep me from experiencing it is just a little thought in my mind; a concept that the mind has about freedom! And all you need to do is to gently “let it go”.
Actually:
The experience of Freedom is the termination of all the concepts about what Freedom should be. It is the end of the search for the concept of “freedom”, thus all search for freedom is over.
I know that there can’t be any experience greater than that. There can’t be any moment that is freer than now.
I know I can’t say anything wrong or do anything wrong.
Everybody is as it is, no one makes any mistakes.
In every present moment, the whole world is presented in its full perfection.
Is it the end?
No! There is more, there are more interesting experiences that are waiting for you!